Enlightened Europe? Perspective!

Dec 2009

OK. I am fresh off a trip to Europe. Switzerland and France this time. I have been reflecting a lot about what I hear sometimes from friends. It goes something like this…

“Oh! Europe is so enlightened. They have health care and mass transit. They are not so hung up on nudity. There is sooo much more culture. I am healthier when I am there because I walk more.” Blah blah blah…

Of course, this blathering dialogue just makes me want to puke. I have found that people who say this have gone to Europe for vacation… ONE TIME. They have no basis for an opinion on what Europe is (or isn’t) at all. Most often they heard or read something from some idiot who is equally unqualified and repeated it. Some have ‘real’ Europe LIVING experience, like I do, and are certainly entitled to a bad opinion based on that experience. Harsh? I don’t think so. You see, if you think it is so much better elsewhere I suggest you LIVE THERE! Why are you here and raining on my days with this garbage?

So, I am going to offer some bulleted realities here that are based on several months of LIVING in Europe with real people… not just running around like a tourist.

• Europe has more culture. Culture is a word derived from cultivation. Cultivation takes time. The USA is a young country. Older countries will have more culture. But how is culture, defined as “enlightenment and excellence of taste acquired by intellectual and aesthetic training,” really that important? If culture is more developed [there] than evolving [here], don’t you want to be where the action is? Just a thought.
• Health care is less costly [per capita expense] there and more accessible, but certainly not better in quality of care. You get what you pay for. The current debate will determine how we handle our health care dilemma going forward.
• Mass transit is much better there. BUT, that doesn’t mean it is the cheapest and best way to travel. Traveling light and alone, mass systems are the usually the best. Otherwise the automobile still rules. I have done the math, and can show anyone upon request how much cheaper a car is with a party of two or more. And the freedom of motoring is without parallel. Our major cities have great mass transit in the USA. It is our rail lines that need upgrading. And remember, in the USA we have the challenge of covering vast distances [more time and money].
• Nudity? Please! Sure, some Mediterranean beaches allow nudity. It is in some advertisements. But MOST Europeans I have talked to do NOT like this. What good comes from being naked on a beach or in provocative TV ads children can watch?
• Healthier? Yes... but Europeans consistently smoke more and are getting fatter on bad convenience foods just like the USA. They may benefit from more walking. But you can walk here! Don’t be a lazy ass! :-)

That covers the major points people seem to come up with, but here are some of my own likes and dislikes that affect how people live there. Some of these are minor things, and are meant to be shared in a fun way.

· Grocery things…

o Grocery carts have swivels on all four wheels. I find them hard to handle.

o Grocery carts can only be retrieved with a $1 deposit. This makes sense.

o Grocery stores charge for bags now, but that cost has always been built in. Going green is now a money maker. No surprise there!

o Charcuterie [meat and butchering] is MUCH better in Europe, with an amazing selection of cold cuts, terrines and other items.

o Ditto for baked goods.

o Produce is consistently better and MUCH cheaper there. This may be due to lower transit costs/distances. If I were vegan I’d live there, not here.

· Car things…

o Gas is way too expensive. It should cost more in the USA, but not that much!

o There are more car choices there, but the operational costs of a car and maintenance costs are much higher [perhaps due to economies of scale].

o Privately owned interstates have tolls that are too expensive.

o Traffic is terrible. I have been in 50 mile backups. Yes. 50 miles. I have had a 5 hour drive turn into 11 hours. That is virtually impossible in the USA.

o Rest areas are insanity. Crowded. Filthy.

· General things

o Diversity is not greater there… just different. Their muslims are our latinos. Everything else just falls in line [blacks, Asians, eastern Europeans].

o Metric is better. Period. We are idiots here for not adopting it.

o People are generally rude and ignore personal space there. Southerners would have a hard time there… no pleasantries are offered.

o Returning merchandise there is a real hassle, if not impossible. You buy it - you own it. You gotta break it here before that is true!

o More people smoke there. Smokers are everywhere. This is a big deal for me personally, because I just hate the smoke.

o The air is terrible in the cities. Diesels dominate there and the exhaust is pervasive.

o Cell phone service is cheaper.

o Broadband is cheaper.

o There seems to be a lot of people milling about that are not working… you wonder how anything gets done.

o Kids there are just like kids here. Pierced. Tattooed. Weird. All three. Damn, I'm old. 

o Perfumes are a big deal. You can encounter some toxic combinations on the Metro, combined with bad hygiene/body odor.

o Convenience is not a big consideration.

I hope some of these things are enlightening. I am not Euro-hater [why would I continue to go if that were true?]. Nor do I think the USA is always the best. Western Europe is not that different from here. In some ways it is better. In some ways it is worse. It is older and has a certain charm. If you live there you would take it for granted… so charm means nothing. I would suggest this… If you want a good comparison take a trip to DC and use only Metro or your feet. Stay for four days. Then go directly to Paris for five days and do the same thing. The sights, sounds, culture, people, are very similar. DC is greener and prettier. Paris is older and more charming in the neighborhoods. But the ‘feel’ is similar.

And to those of you that vacation in Europe but never drive there, never get out of the cities, never go to the grocery store, never talk to [or stay with] locals… mind your opinions and comparisons. You can’t compare what you don’t even know. There is a difference between vacationing in a place and actually living there.

The Punisher

The Punisher

Punisher is what I sometimes call our male cat, Pantoufle. He is always sneaking up on our female and whaling away on her. She pays him back though.

So it goes for the Prairie Punisher Duathlon. The darn thing snuck up on us and we registered 11 days prior to the event. Good idea? Probably not.

I was thinking that we run and bike so much, a Duathlon is almost like a long workout. Not so much.

And so there is really no prescript to tell you about. No long training rituals. No leg-burning, mind-searing workouts reminiscent of middle-ages gladiator training. No blood. No tears. No drama.

Until the morning of the event…

I have learned a lot over the years doing these things. I left my running shoes on top of my car on the way to a marathon once. I actually went back and found them on the highway after arriving at the parking area, realizing I was an IDIOT. I have left things at home like sunscreen, or my race packet. You name it, I have brain-farted it away. So the bikes were loaded. Packets were made for the transitions. All was ready… except Mother Nature.

Gardner KS is about 22 miles southwest of the house. As soon as the drive there had begun the skies were noticeably threatening to the southwest. Figures. We kept a close eye on the sky. The roads became wet about 6 miles from the starting area, and the rain shafts coming out of the clouds were visible in the area. Surprisingly, things dried out right around the starting area north of Gardner and the event was a go.

Check in was no sweat. Bathrooms WERE a sweat box. Humid and cramped with a line of guys about 10 deep, you’d think they’d have a few porta-potties on site. Nope… just a two-header men’s room with too much business and smells you can’t describe.

I came out of that gas chamber and into the wet sticky air. I got all of my equipment and marked my arms with my number at the car by myself… my purple Sharpie matched my bike color. At least I had that going for me!

After a short speech and instructions we were off. The course was damp and difficult. The run was a wave of drainage basins and hills. Down-up-down-up-down-up-false flat. Then we turned around and the reciprocal was our “gift.” I finished on schedule and my thoughts drifted to the pain of doing that nonsense again later. I had no idea how right those thoughts were!

The first transition was a little slow. Just over two minutes to put on shorts, change shoes, and don a helmet. That was a little disappointing actually. I may have felt better about it if I had fallen down putting on my bike shorts or something.

The bike rolled pretty well though, and the roads were dry enough not to be dangerous. There were no curves on the roads, just 90 degree turns at intersections. Those spots were the only places were caution was required. The bike course itself was just like the run… either up or down or false flats. The first half I rode pretty well, but my lungs were not very efficient in the thin humid air. The second half of the bike portion I could feel my legs start to build with lactic acid. Slowly but surely, I was losing my top-end. And, was I thirsty?! I should have thrown a few swallows of water and sport drink in the furnace on the first segment and transition.

By the time I reached the transition I was ready to run. Right. Just over a minute to change shoes and shirt, and I was off and running. NO… I was NOT! My calves seized as soon as I tried to run. Each time I tried to go they’d lock up again. I had no choice but to stretch them on a curb at the edge of the park used to stage the race. After that I ran and walked portions of the first ½ mile or so. Then I jogged really s-l-o-w the rest of the way. I had not trained for the transition. I did not drink anything on the bike. This, my friends, is the perfect recipe for muscle cramps.

Right after I finished the skies opened and a steady rain began to fall. It seemed to be all around us before and during the event. The rain after the event seemed to be only over the race area. Incredible. It did not take long to pack and leave… or find the nearby Mexican restaurant to refuel!

I finished two minutes behind my target time. I could have finished 5 minutes better with a proper first transition and by meeting my 2^nd run target time. I was not too disappointed. It is called the Prairie Punisher for a reason. I am not sure that is good marketing beyond attracting the masochistic. I may do it again, or more likely another duathlon at some point. I’m sure something else will humble me if I correct all of my mistakes. That’s life unless you live in an ageless, fantasy world of perfection. I am none of those things. Some people climb to summit. Some people race to win versus others. My race… my climb… my battle… is against myself.

Touching Wheels – When two cycling worlds collide

August 7, 2009

First off, let’s get some things out of the way. I have been biking seriously fast, on and off, since 1990. I bought a Giant ATX 760 and modified it to a crazy mountain machine. I then bought a Giant Cadex carbon frame and modified it to Triathlon readiness. In 1993 I bought a Cannondale Super V 3000. I broke the frame twice riding off drops and stairs. It is now a cobbled together Jekyll, and C’Dale is still my favorite bike frame builder… EVER! I also bought the world’s lightest production bike in 1993, the Trek OCLV 5900. I changed to a few heavier components for everyday riding, and that is still my road bike. I can ride your wheel. I can pull. I can stand or sit up hills alongside lighter people. I can sprint with bigger and stronger people. I can do a really good track stand. I bike.

But you’d never know it by looking at me. I wear a cotton t-shirt and a backpack sometimes when I bike. I have some rust on a few bolts on my bikes from living on the coast. I don’t wear bike jerseys too often, nor do I don the ultra chic eyewear bicyclists like to wear. Sometimes I wear long fingered gloves in the summer. Sometimes I show up to road rides on my mountain bike… and KEEP UP! All of these things leave me wide open to the hell-fire and venom of “elite” riders. They hate me. I do not conform. I do not bow. I do not back off. I obey more traffic laws. I do not like to be judged by them and tell them so.

The things I have heard from fellow cyclists in the Brookside Thursday Ride, The Blue Moose Thursday Ride, The Chelley's Wednesday Ride, and the 75th Street Brewery Tuesday Ride [all in Kansas City] :
“Why do you only have a mountain bike?”
“If you can’t hang up front you have no business being here.”
“You need a “faster looking” bike.”

But it is mostly what I DON’T hear that is bothersome.
No “Thank you” after I bunny hop to the sidewalk and hit the crosswalk button for a group to get the green light.
No “You are new… welcome” when I show up the first time for rides.
No communication before turns and curves at high speed to coordinate lines of travel.
No “Grab my wheel” when I am struggling to stay with a peloton on a bad day.
No “Take the gap” to allow someone to join the pace line.

You see, biking reminds me of a couple of other sports.
Surfing. Things a surfer might say:
“You are stupid, dude. You deserve to freeze out here in that cheap wet suit.’
“Dude, if you grab my wave or take my line I’ll thrash you.”
“I’ve never seen you here before, dude. This is OUR break.”
Swimming. Things a swimmer might say:
NOTHING. They are just right next to you one minute and in the water the next trying to kick your ass and destroy you. Afterward, there is usually no acknowledgement or exchange. It is just over.
This is typical in riding, too. It is blood sport even at the recreational level. Kill or be killed. Eat or be eaten.

Where does this attitude come from? How does it get into club and recreational riding? Look no further than our professional cycling heroes.
Greg LeMond – Perhaps the most physically gifted cyclist ever. Also a gifted whiner, trash talker, and instigator. By the way, I own a LeMond indoor bike... so I am not a total hater.
Bernard Hinault – The Badger thought he owned the peloton. He still has a really big mouth. He is opinionated to a fault. It was actually great to see him and LeMond do battle. They deserved each other.
Mario Cipolinni – His last name means little onion in Italian. But there is nothing little about his style. Style doesn’t get you through the mountains, though. And sprinting is only a small part of being a good cyclist.

Where all this whining and whipping leads is to stagnation. For example, basketball is dominated by unbelievable athleticism AND trash-talking, thuggish behavior. Even though population has grown since 1990 there has not been an increase in numbers participating in the sport at all levels, according to the USA Today in an issue this week. I predict the same for Cycling.

Let me offer my solutions and thoughts:
You can be an ambassador for the sport and still kick ass. Think Eddy Merkx.
*Say hello to fellow riders of all types. If you are out of breath, wave at them!
*Make trash talkers shut up.
*Defend weaker riders. Remember the weaker riders get stronger, and your ass is the first one they’ll remember to kick if you are the snobby club rider.
*Don’t be an equipment snob. Again, that rider on the beater bike may kick your ass on a bike like yours.
Be the last person in the group every once in a while. You need to do your turns at the back and the front. Someday you will not have a good day. Who is going to be there to encourage you?
Obey the traffic laws. If you want to be heckled by drivers and targeted by police, by all means keep blowing stop signs and lights. If you want respect, you must also show respect.
Learn to bike! Seated. Seated sprint. Standing climb. Standing sprint. Decending skills. Shift strategy and timing. Most of the “elite” riders I ride with don’t even switch to a lower gear before stopping at a traffic light. Then they struggle and clunk through gears to get going again. Elite? Not so much. Learn to bike… that slow rider may be behind you, but they may also be, technically, twice the rider you are.

The bottom line is we all need to be domestiques. We need to be respectful and encouraging to each other and the sport will prosper. You can still kick ass, just be graceful about it. Your turn at the front will always end. If you are one of the problem riders with a bad attitude, I be somewhere in the peloton laughing when it does end for you. I may be at the front or in the back… but I’ll be there. You’ll hate me. And I’ll love it.

Negative Redline

OK... I have officially had it.
I am switching from wine to beer and hard liquor.
I am turning off the heat.
Why? Because American people, as portrayed by our esteemed media, are a bunch of whiners and full of hot air. The plays on words and double entendre usage are purely intended.

I am banning the use of the following phrases:
"Tough times"
"Trying times"
"Uncertain times"
These phrases are even used in TV ads now. Gee... THAT'S encouraging!

I don't know about you, but when weren't things tough? Oh, I'm sorry. You must not have worked for "evil corporate America" like I have for 20 years. While they have fed me and subsidized my very financial LIFE here, they have always been tough.

Trying times? That phrase is absurd! If times aren't trying what are they? Easy? "Untrying?" I can almost hear the exchange in a job interview now...
Employer: So how are things going right now for you?
Candidate: These are trying times, sir.
Employer: I noticed you have been out of work for a few months. So what about the prior period?
Candidate: Oh, that was easy.
Employer: Interesting... so I understand you correctly, working was easier than not working?
Candidate: That's not what I really mean.
Employer: OK. So what DO you REALLY mean?
Candidate: Now I worry more.
Employer: OK. So you didn't worry so much at work, right? Things were perfect, right? You were the consummate employee, correct?
Candidate: I didn't mean to imply that either.
Employer: I didn't mean to imply you had any shot whatsoever at landing this job.

Uncertain times? When were times NOT uncertain? We can count back the decades...
2000's: Terrorism/Jihad, Middle-East, China, North Korea, Repeating inflationary bubbles, Climate change debate, energy shortages, Russia v Georgia
1990's: World Trade Center, Y2K, Yugoslavia, China, Middle-East, Rwanda
1980's: Beirut, Iran v Iraq, Afghanistan v USSR, Interest Rates, Inflation, Unemployment, Chernobyl
1970's: Oil embargo, stagflation, unemployment, Southeast Asian conflicts, Middle East and African conflicts, Cold War, Iranian Revolution
1960's: Cold War, Cuba, Vietnam, Assassinations, Pervasive Civil unrest
1950's: Korea, Cold War, Suez, Civil Rights, Cuban Revolution
1940's: WWII, Cold War, Atomic Age, Holocaust
1930's:Depression Japanese Imperialism, WWII
1920's: Fascism, Market crash, Prohibition, Chinese Civil War
1910's:WWI, Russian Revolution/Communism, Spanish Flu epidemic
If you look at the trend, things have become more uncertain as time passes. Population grows. The advances in technology accelerate changes. Disparity of wealth and religion add fuel to the fires. All conflicts are global now. No one is safe from terrorism. You can't count on "ma Bell" anymore.

So, before your next land-line phone call, let's can the catch phrases. Times are what they are.

Change & Hope In America

Change & Hope In America
By Reed Nelson, March 2009

Let me state, for the record:
I am from one of the most conservative congressional districts in the US. The same congressman that was elected when I was in elementary school still serves today. That is a shame and a sham. So is Ted Kennedy [but I hope he beats brain cancer]. So are GHWBush, Clinton, GWBush… the globalist presidents who have collectively let the world wreck our economy with “free” trade policies. Of course, we did a good job of wrecking the world financial system on our own. I may have conservative roots, but I am no conservative. I am no liberal either. I am my own man. And I am really not happy about the lunacy that has gripped this country. I hope it is only temporary, but hope has been hijacked by our new president for now. I hate government intervention into my personal affairs. I can’t stand human rights abuse. I like guns. I think big business is just awesome. I drive a hybrid car. I compost. I own two rain barrels. I reuse. And I have been doing this for MUCH longer than it has ever been fashionable to do so, because I thought I was [gasp] being conservative. Don’t even THINK about trying to pigeonhole me.


I hope Obama kicks butt. I hope he is hope. But the fact is he is just a man. And when he uttered the phrase “hard work” in his inaugural speech I silently cheered and envisioned many of the people that voted for him looking bewildered at the same time. I can see it so clearly. “Surely he didn’t say ‘work,’ did he Johnny?”
“No Danny-boy, I don’t think so. Do you have any spare change?”
Thank God Barack Obama is a hard worker. Thank God he is actually a religious man. But wait, so was GWBush and that was a problem. The Dems don’t care now. Their guy is in office. But is it their guy? Work? Patriotism? Responsibility?
“Johnny, he just said responsibility… fire up another blunt and give it to me… quickly Johnny!”
“Danny-boy, calm down! We may need to start stretching our pennies!”
That’s right, Johnny and Danny. Happy days are not here again. Get to work and off my street corner. The last time I offered you food you would not take it… you only wanted money. I wonder why. But I am hard and jaded. I am a little ashamed of that sometimes.

Obama is a much better speaker than me…
“Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life.”
“For everywhere we look, there is work to be done.”
“… it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies.”
“But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true.”
“What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility…”

Listen to Obama, just don’t listen to celebrities… no matter what the message may be. You can get more truth from real people… or garbage cans if you wish. Most of the America I know works. Celebrities do NOT work. Let’s get that straight right now. They live in a fantasy world you and I can scarcely imagine. Where wants are ALWAYS met. Where there are no needs left that can’t be bought or explained away. Where you don’t really matter unless they say you do.

America is by far the most generous and charitable nation on this planet. We should be. We are the richest. The only charity I give to right now goes to an El Salvadorian boy. That is the spirit of America. To me, the talk of pledging and giving that is going on right now is insulting. It insinuates that we have not been charitable enough. This is nonsense.

So back to Obama. He has, so far, appointed a couple of conservatives or moderates to key/cabinet positions. And where are all of the African-Americans? Well, most of the people completely enamored with Obama did not know of his peaceful history with opposite thinkers while he was president of the Harvard Law Review. They also did not know his “don’t tell me what to do” stands against the entrenched African-American elected of the Chicago political landscape. Heck, good ole Barry may be more of a maverick than McCain! Yet, with all of his stands against the expectations of the extreme, Obama seems to be able to maintain relations, to keep from alienating people. He is very skilled in this regard… very impressive. GWBush said he was a “uniter,” and turned out to be a divider. Much of this had to do with his refusal to be transparent and inability to effectively communicate.

I think Obama could be a great president. All of the things he has done or is doing so far are not exactly what is expected… but he is still not ticking most people off. While he campaigned on the nebulous ideas of hope and change and made these ideals his own, he is now bringing more concrete words and ideals into play. Justice. Patriotism. Work. Transparency. Ethics. I will say that fiscal conservatives know that paying for all this spending is going to be a rough road. I have heard many people I know in their 60’s say things like “Thank God I’ll be dead by the time we have to pay for this.”

I hope the dogma of the political left and right don’t kill his idealism. I really hope he does well. I am certain there are many democrats I know that would never have said that about GWBush. Am I better than them? Yes I am. Much better, in fact. These people are shameful and despicable versions of America gone wrong. I can’t imagine the poison these people feed their families, friends, and children. I am no fan of far right dogma either. People like Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter do have a place in this world. Limbaugh is a brilliant satirist, and very entertaining given the correct ear. While I am kind to free speech, I think Coulter is just irritating and divisive, as are many of her conservative colleagues. At least they counter the noisy left fairly well, without yelling quite so much as ranting along the way. These people are nowhere near as smart as the true American conservatives and the real liberals I know. They are just more verbose and have a bigger microphone. And for those that wished W to fail and those who now wish Obama to fail??? For God’s sake… don’t these people realize that presidential failures become America’s failure?

I can tell you this. Hard times are ahead if we can’t kill dogma, and fast. Really hard times. If you are someone who falls in line behind your “party” quickly, you need a reality check. If you are someone who no longer has a party, you are not alone. This is the time for America to succeed or to fail. How we treat each other and what we demand of our government will determine our future.

Me? I have been disenfranchised for years now. I belong to nothing, and nothing represents me to my liking. This is how REAL change begins and how revolutions happen. I am not alone in the way I feel. There are some highly unstable people who feel the way I feel. If you aren’t scared, you should be.

Meanwhile, I am not participating in the recession. I was already living within my means. If you are participating, I hope you learned something. If not, you know what they say about history…