Negative Redline

OK... I have officially had it.
I am switching from wine to beer and hard liquor.
I am turning off the heat.
Why? Because American people, as portrayed by our esteemed media, are a bunch of whiners and full of hot air. The plays on words and double entendre usage are purely intended.

I am banning the use of the following phrases:
"Tough times"
"Trying times"
"Uncertain times"
These phrases are even used in TV ads now. Gee... THAT'S encouraging!

I don't know about you, but when weren't things tough? Oh, I'm sorry. You must not have worked for "evil corporate America" like I have for 20 years. While they have fed me and subsidized my very financial LIFE here, they have always been tough.

Trying times? That phrase is absurd! If times aren't trying what are they? Easy? "Untrying?" I can almost hear the exchange in a job interview now...
Employer: So how are things going right now for you?
Candidate: These are trying times, sir.
Employer: I noticed you have been out of work for a few months. So what about the prior period?
Candidate: Oh, that was easy.
Employer: Interesting... so I understand you correctly, working was easier than not working?
Candidate: That's not what I really mean.
Employer: OK. So what DO you REALLY mean?
Candidate: Now I worry more.
Employer: OK. So you didn't worry so much at work, right? Things were perfect, right? You were the consummate employee, correct?
Candidate: I didn't mean to imply that either.
Employer: I didn't mean to imply you had any shot whatsoever at landing this job.

Uncertain times? When were times NOT uncertain? We can count back the decades...
2000's: Terrorism/Jihad, Middle-East, China, North Korea, Repeating inflationary bubbles, Climate change debate, energy shortages, Russia v Georgia
1990's: World Trade Center, Y2K, Yugoslavia, China, Middle-East, Rwanda
1980's: Beirut, Iran v Iraq, Afghanistan v USSR, Interest Rates, Inflation, Unemployment, Chernobyl
1970's: Oil embargo, stagflation, unemployment, Southeast Asian conflicts, Middle East and African conflicts, Cold War, Iranian Revolution
1960's: Cold War, Cuba, Vietnam, Assassinations, Pervasive Civil unrest
1950's: Korea, Cold War, Suez, Civil Rights, Cuban Revolution
1940's: WWII, Cold War, Atomic Age, Holocaust
1930's:Depression Japanese Imperialism, WWII
1920's: Fascism, Market crash, Prohibition, Chinese Civil War
1910's:WWI, Russian Revolution/Communism, Spanish Flu epidemic
If you look at the trend, things have become more uncertain as time passes. Population grows. The advances in technology accelerate changes. Disparity of wealth and religion add fuel to the fires. All conflicts are global now. No one is safe from terrorism. You can't count on "ma Bell" anymore.

So, before your next land-line phone call, let's can the catch phrases. Times are what they are.